are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Too much gin, very little bucket
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
