Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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