So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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