I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
