Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
