he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
