they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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