Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I cockslap morals
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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