i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
