When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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