I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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