so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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