So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
