Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
