So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
