I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
