You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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