Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
