She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
