im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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