Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This house was built for laser tag.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
