I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
