if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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