i think my tv is drunk
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
