I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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