biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
