So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
