There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize