You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
