Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
