Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she peed on how many people?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
