So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
