Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
