dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
