Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
