how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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