rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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