I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
