this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
