he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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