He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
