She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
