yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
