I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
