I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
