May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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