i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
