i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
