we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
