We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
