If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Barsexuality is the new black.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
