question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Randomize
