Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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