reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize