Whod you bang
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
