i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
