I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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