You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize