I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
