I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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