Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
