Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize