I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
