tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
